May 13, 2015

Like spilled wine on a shirt

An analogy on how small comments are like wine spills on shirts


We all want to be praised and be acknowledged for our hard work. I am slowly learning that perhaps love and respect for ourselves comes purely within. However it is easier said than done – of course we want to feel validated by others with positive comments.

I have a tendency to let a small comment made by others stick inside my head for days, months and years – like spilled wine on a shirt. I like to think that there are three approaches to situations like this.

Option 1: Wash it away as soon as you detect it.

As soon as I realise that I am being affected by the negative comment, I need to learn to accept it or recognise that it is simply not true. I then need brush it off and move on with life.

Option 2: Ignore it. Then when you try to wash it off, it's too late.

Clearly, this is the worst approach to a negative comment. Sometimes, I think that a negative comment didn’t affect me at all. However once I realise that I am actually constantly thinking about it, it’s too late. It’s engrained in my mind and it’s harder to talk myself out of it.

Option 3: The wine is now forever part of your shirt.

Perhaps that comment was correct after all. I might be hurt by it for a while. But maybe I have to learn to accept it the way it hurts me. But instead of it being a burden on my shoulder, I need to let it be a crucial mark and a reminder to be better.

Or alternatively, let the wine turn your white shirt into red and let that be your new shirt colour.



Return to blog

Join the mailing list

Inform me of interesting news from Andrew